- This topic has 48 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 11 months, 1 week ago by Jazzyfresh.
April 10, 2020 at 6:59 pm #46343JazzyfreshGuest
I thought It would be fun if we had a place where we could come to get a good laugh. So if you know a good joke or could post a silly poem or song of it you read something funny and want to share it with here’s the place!
April 10, 2020 at 7:09 pm #46346OREOGuest
I’m excited to do type on this topic.but I have a funny part from a book I read,but when I do post it I want to post it exactly how the author wrote it in my book.
April 14, 2020 at 1:37 pm #46424OREOGuest
this is a part in a book called SINK OR SWIM
This is during world war 2. Danny and his friend Straub, are on a boat that chases U-boats (which belong to the Nazi’s)
It was impossible for our minds not to wander to other things,like how nasty everybody smelled after all these sweaty days at sea.
The captain had given the order they nobody could take a shower. The plan was for the convoy to make the east coast run without stopping at any of the ports along the way, so we had to preserve our supply of water.
Not only that, but we could only brush our teeth twice a week. So everybody was getting pretty ripe. Then,to make matters even worse, the cooks served up beans for dinner two nights in a row.
Straub actually came crawling out through the canvas hatch onto the deck one evening, gagging from the smell and saying he felt like he was going to be sick. I didn’t put much stock in what he said,since he had such a weak stomach and got seasick any time the ocean got any kind of rough.
But then I went below and the stench but me like a baseball bat,and I turned right back around and crawled out behind him.
April 16, 2020 at 6:57 am #46492Wingiby iggybiGuest
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
April 16, 2020 at 9:48 am #46512smikdiforgsmifferGuest
Here is a limerick I wrote last year for the 7th-grade writing lab when we had to do a bunch of different poems (it is also on my website):
There was an old man from New York
Who couldn’t stand the sight of pork
He once ran away
On barbeque day
And tripped and fell onto a spork
April 16, 2020 at 10:31 am #46516Wingiby iggybiGuest
In a book I read, one of the characters was off to be an army nurse, and she said something like this, “I’m glad you know! If I die I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!”
April 17, 2020 at 4:40 pm #46573Kinnan WingfeatherGuest
Ha ha, that’s a good one. Here’s one I made up:
“I’ll survive this if it kills me.”
April 18, 2020 at 7:50 am #46578Wingiby iggybiGuest
April 18, 2020 at 7:50 am #46579Wingiby iggybiGuest
I like pain until it hurts
April 18, 2020 at 1:47 pm #46582JazzyfreshGuest
HA ha! That’s funny!
April 18, 2020 at 2:35 pm #46586JazzyfreshGuest
I read this poem on this very website and was laughing my head of, but I didn’t Wright it my self. It probably won be as funny if you haven’t read yurgen’s tune but it’s still funny.
Oh bacon lay thee low
down in my belly
down down down my throat you go
oh bacon so crispy
Fry again bacon now
my kitchen abundant with your smell
render full my groaning gut
your taste better than words can tell.
April 18, 2020 at 5:32 pm #46603Rebekah12Guest
Here’s an exerp from “The Mysterious Benedict Society” by Trenton Lee Stewart. And if you want to watch a hilarious Marvel movie, check out Thor: Ragnarok (rated PG-13, jsyk).
“Aren’t we a depressing bunch?” said Kate. “If we keep on like this, we’ll have to start calling it remorse code.”
“What’s remorse?” asked Constance.
“Feeling sad about something you did,” said Reynie.
“Oh, do you feel sad, George Washington?” asked Constance.
Sticky twitched with irritation. “She was talking about you. And please don’t call me that.”
“I didn’t call you ‘that.’ I called you George Washington. Ask the others. They heard me. I definitely did not call you ‘that,’ George Washington.”
Kate sighed and muttered, “So much for remorse.”
April 19, 2020 at 12:17 pm #46619Wingiby IggibyGuest
I love those books!
April 19, 2020 at 12:26 pm #46620Wingiby IggibyGuest
I just have to post all of these! Here I go:
I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Always go tot other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart?”
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Always remember you are unique; just like everybody else.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
The Big Bang Theory: God spoke and BANG! it happened.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
You can probably tell I have a thing with one liners, but they are seriously funny!
April 19, 2020 at 2:23 pm #46621JazzyfreshGuest
You both read the mysterious Benedict society!? I love that series! Have you read the new one that came out this year?
April 19, 2020 at 4:21 pm #46634Wingiby IggibyGuest
Yes, I’ve read them, but I don’t think I’ve read the new one. Was it about the beginnings of Mr. Benedict? If so, I haven’t. I will try to remember though; I am currently working on The Monster in the Hollows, I got it on kindle because I couldn’t wait until September! All of the paper backs are sold out, unless you buy them for sixty dollars used! That is not something to laugh about.
April 19, 2020 at 3:25 pm #46629OREOGuest
Those are really funny wingiby!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅😅😅
April 19, 2020 at 4:19 pm #46633Wingiby IggibyGuest
Thanks, OREO, I got more where those came from!
May 12, 2020 at 7:02 pm #48408Wingiby IggibyGuest
Here is the last verse to a song that I love:
I sat in that waiting room, it seemed like all afternoon; the nurse finally said,
“Doc’s ready for you. Your’re not gonna feel a thing, we’ll give you some Novocaine; that tooth will be fine in a minute or two.”
Then he stuck that needle down deep in my gum, and he started drilling before I was numb!
It’s from Some Beach, by Blake Shelton.
May 12, 2020 at 7:07 pm #48410OREOGuest
Once I asked my sister if she wanted to be called grobblin,
Since she loves having a nickname she said yes, but then she found out what a grobblin was. And man was she unhappy!
May 12, 2020 at 7:59 pm #48412CrazywriterGuest
I have a bunch of jokes, but are prolly too long. But here goes some.
Last time i saw something like you, i flushed it.
I stepped on a snail once in my early childhood. It was my first crush.
A bear and a rabbit and relieving themselves in the woods one day. The bear turns to the rabbit and says, “Do you ever have trouble with poop sticking to your fur?” The rabbits wrinkles his brow, thinks, then replies, “Nope”.
The bear grins and says, “Thats great!” He then picks up the rabbit by the ears and wipes.
May 12, 2020 at 8:00 pm #48413Wingiby IggibyGuest
Ha ha! That is funny!
May 13, 2020 at 12:19 am #48427Denali ChristiansonGuest
I love your one-liners, Wingiby! I am laughing so hard right now that it’s really hard for me to type! 🙂
Okay, here’s one from Star Trek Voyager. I’ll give you some background so that it’s actually funny.
On this ship, there’s this thing called a holodeck. It’s a room with a bunch of projectors that can make holograms, except these holograms aren’t just floating images. they actually have mass and can interact with people. So Captain Janeway (she’s the ship captain) comes to the holodeck one day and (get this) falls in love with a hologram! But then she decides that she wants to change his personality a little bit, so she accesses his settings (called subroutines) and modifies them. So here goes one of the best lines in all of Voyager:
Captain Kathryn Janeway when asked about her relationship with an Irish hologram:
“oh, you know the story. Girl meets boy, girl modifies boy’s subroutines.”
I couldn’t stop laughing at that for like ten minutes! And here’s another Voyager one.
This is when a crewmember first comes onto the ship and meets the captain. Keep in mind that Captain Janeway is a girl.
Janeway: Welcome aboard Voyager, gentlemen.
Ensign Harry Kim (the crewmember): Thank you, sir.
Janeway: Mister Kim…at ease before you sprain something.
Kim: Yes Ma’am.
Janeway: Ma’am is acceptable in a crunch, but I prefer captain.
Janeway: Mister Kim, would you like to take over at this station?
Kim: Yes, Ma’am!
Janeway: It’s not crunch time yet, Ensign. I’ll let you know when.
Yeah, that’s my dose of Voyager jokes for the day! I hope you enjoy them!
Oh yes, and what do you call the two brothers holding up your curtains in your living room?
Curt ‘n’ Rod…
~Denali Wingfeather, master of not so funny jokes…
May 13, 2020 at 7:06 am #48431Wingiby iggybiGuest
Those are still funny, Denali! I love to read other people’s jokes!
May 13, 2020 at 8:43 am #48435CrazywriterGuest
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a lake?
What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on a wall?
What do you call a guy who works out?
What do you call a billionare?
What do you call Rich’s son after Rich dies?
What do you call a thief?
May 13, 2020 at 12:07 pm #48441Wingiby IggibyGuest
Those are great, Crazywriter! Hysterical!
May 13, 2020 at 3:09 pm #48465Denali ChristiansonGuest
hahahahahahahahahaha Crazywriter! I love those!!!!!
May 31, 2020 at 7:13 pm #49573JazzyfreshGuest
I read this in a book and it made me laugh, just thought I’d share it with yall.
“A little pain never hurt anybody”
May 31, 2020 at 7:52 pm #49582CrazywriterGuest
So a priest, preacher, and rabbit walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, “What do you want to drink?”
The rabbit replies, “I don’t know. I’m only here because of autocorrect.”
June 1, 2020 at 12:47 pm #49592OreoGuest
That reminds me of joke that I once heard.
Two men walked into a bar. Don’t you think the second one would have ducked.
June 1, 2020 at 1:17 pm #49593Wingiby IggibyGuest
Ha ha, these are so funny! 😛
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
June 1, 2020 at 11:04 pm #49659Denali ChristiansonGuest
Haha Wing! I love that!
Let’s see if I can think of anything other than wry humor that probably isn’t funny…
this guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender that his dog can talk. The bartender says, “oh really? Well this I’ve got to see.”
So the guy tells the bartender to come outside a little later and he’d demonstrate.
An hour later, the guy takes the bartender outside. There’s this German shepherd sitting there. The guy sits down next to the dog and says,
“Now Fido, what’s on a tree?”
The dog replied, “Bark!”
“Good. How does sand paper feel?”
“I thought so. What’s on a house?”
“Good. What do you do when you’re sick?”
At this point, there is a mic drop…
Oh, this reminds me of another one!
There are three little poodles sitting in a row. They have been asked to introduce themselves.
The first one steps up and says, “My name is Mimi. Spelled M-i-m-i!”
The second one steps up and says, “My name is Fifi. F-i-f-i!”
The third one steps up and says, “My name is Fido. P-h-i-d-e-u-x!”
Another mic drop – this one because the dude telling the joke fainted from embarrassment as to how horrible her jokes are (that’s me!).
June 2, 2020 at 2:18 pm #49708JazzyfreshGuest
Ha ha! Those are funny , I actually laughed out loud!
A man is driving down freeway 11 on his way home from work when his wife calls him
Wife: Hony, be careful! There’s a lunatic driving the wrong way down freeway 11!
Husband: Your right! Its not just one, it’s hundreds of them!
June 3, 2020 at 11:14 am #49762Denali ChristiansonGuest
Oh. my. word. THAT IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice one, Jazzyfresh!!!
June 3, 2020 at 1:42 pm #49768Wingiby IggibyGuest
Here is a story my sister read in a book, I’m writing it from memory:
Peewee was busy plowing in his field with his trusty ox when a small shadow passed overhead. Looking up, Peewee saw a peewee bird, and the bird called out “pee-wee! Pee-wee!” Now, naturally, Peewee thought it was insulting him.
“I’ll teach you, you dumb bird!” He shouted as he picked up a stone from the ground and threw it at the creature. But he missed, and the rock fell from the sky and onto his ox’s head. The poor beast fell dead to the ground. Peewee was heartbroken; but he wasn’t one to waste an opportunity. He skinned his ox, then went to town. At the general store he asked the owner if he would buy his lovely ox skin.
“Uh, what use do I have for that, dude?” The guy replied. While he and Peewee bickered, some children were playing hide-and-go-seek outside. A wealthy young man from the city passed by, and decided to join them in their game. He ran into the store, then crept into a barrel. “Hah, they won’t find me in here,” he thought. They didn’t, but Peewee did.
He saw the man hide, and asked the store owner if perhaps he would trade. “This skin for your barrel?” The man complied, wondering what in the world Peewee would use an empty barrel for.
Peewee loaded the barrel into his wagon, then set off down the road. Pretty soon the young man realized something was up, and started banging on the barrel. “Hey, let me out! Somebody, get me out of here!”
Peewee reined in his horses, then clambered down from his seat. He popped open the barrel, and this is what he told the man:
“Well now, I’m afraid I can’t do that. You see, I bought this barrel and everything in it. Therefore, I own you too.”
Well, the young man was very frantic, so he drew out a pouch filled with gold coins. “Here, I buy myself back!” And with that, he jumped out of the barrel and back down the road, determined not to play hide-and-go-seek again.
Peewee, on the other hand, returned home. But soon his neighbors learned of his newly acquired wealth. They asked him how he had come about it, and Peewee told them the tale. So the men went and killed their oxen, then traded their skins for a barrel. But of course, they had no such luck. Now Peewee’s neighbors were very cross with him.
The next day, Peewee was working in the field with his wife when the peewee bird flew overhead once more, supposedly taunting him with his cry of “pee-wee! Peewee!” Peewee threw his rock, but missed. The stone fell on his wife’s head, and the poor lady died. Now, Peewee’s heart was crushed, but he was never one to miss out on an opportunity. So he got in his wagon with his dead wife and drove out to the lake. He positioned the wagon next to the lake, and set his wife in it with her back to the water. Then, he put two baskets in front of her: one with oranges and one with lemons. Then, he went and hid in the rushes and waited.
Before long, a rich man driving a fancy black coach with four handsome black steeds came down the road. He saw the women in the wagon, but didn’t know she was dead.
“Hello, my dear lady,” he said, sweeping his hat off of his head. But the woman didn’t answer. “My I ask, good woman, how are you selling your fruit?” But Peewee’s wife didn’t answer. How could she? The lady was dead!
The man asked her two more times, but didn’t get an answer. At last, he became so frustrated, that he got up and punched her in the face. Peewee’s wife toppled over and into the water. Peewee sprang out of the rushes and cried:
“How dare you! You just killed my wife! I shall have to get a judge!”
The rich man was very worried now. “Oh please, sir, don’t do that! Here, you may have my coach and horses if only you won’t bring me before a judge.” Peewee, of course, readily agreed; and drove his wonderful horses home.
His neighbors saw him coming up the drive, and asked how he had come about such fine animals. Peewee told them, and they decided to try it themselves. So they all killed their wives and set them up as Peewee had done. But of course, it didn’t work. So now they were dreadfully angry with Peewee.
“That ignorant fool! We shall have to get rid of him.”
“Ah! I have an idea.”
So together, they captured poor Peewee and stuffed him in a barrel. They planned to toss him in the lake so he would drown. But before they did so, they went to get a drink in the tavern by the lake, to celebrate their good luck of finally disposing of their enemy.
Peewee beat on his barrel, crying out for someone to rescue him. An old man with his flock of sheep was passing by, and heard his pleas. He opened the barrel and peered in.
“Oh, sir, please let me out!”
The old man answered:
“I shall do so, but on one condition: You take care of my sheep and let me take your place, for I am tired and weary of life.”
Of course, Peewee readily agreed, and drove the flock back to his home while the old man climbed into the barrel. When Peewee’s neighbors came out, they threw the barrel into the lake, thinking it still contained Peewee.
Then they went to Peewee’s house, to divide his fortune among themselves. But what should they see but Peewee, sitting on his porch, guarding his flock of sheep. Well, his neighbors were so curious as to how he had escaped AND acquired new live-stock. But this time, Peewee told them a different story:
“Well, when you threw me in the lake, the lid came off and I swam out. I looked down and saw hundreds and hundreds of sheep feasting on the kelp below me, so I brought some of them out with me. There are still more if you care to find them.”
So all the foolish men went and hopped in the lake, where they promptly drowned. So it was that Peewee lived happily ever after with his gold, his horses and coach, and his sheep. Well, he still didn’t have a wife and DID have nightmares, but those soon went away and he lived happily ever after.
June 3, 2020 at 1:54 pm #49773OreoGuest
I think I have read that story before. Where did you read it wing?
And I must say, you have a really good memory.
June 3, 2020 at 2:05 pm #49777Wingiby IggibyGuest
I was in Caddie Woodlawn, I believe. And thanks! I do a lot of narrations, so I get a lot of practice.
June 3, 2020 at 2:16 pm #49780OreoGuest
Oh! I remember reading that while ago, actually I wasn’t much of a reader way back when, so my mom actually read it to me
June 3, 2020 at 10:02 pm #49824Denali ChristiansonGuest
Haha I like that Wingiby! Course, I’m wise enough not to go murder my dog and future husband just so I can get thrown in a barrel and acquire some sheep! 😀
June 4, 2020 at 9:28 am #49831CrazywriterGuest
Haha, Wing! That’s a story that brings a hearty chuckle
June 4, 2020 at 12:58 pm #49850Wingiby IggibyGuest
Thanks, y’all! My sister told it too me and I thought, “Wow! that was weird and hysterical!”
June 9, 2020 at 12:42 pm #50102Wingiby IggibyGuest
Ahhhh!!!! CANNOT LET THIS GATHER DUST!!!!!
Ok, so have y’all ever read the book, “Tragedy at the Grand Canyon by Eileen Dover?”
Say it a few times slowly and then a couple times fast…. 😛
June 30, 2020 at 3:45 pm #50680Denali ChristiansonGuest
I don’t know if I’ve posted this one yet, so I’ll just say it now.
A little boy who worked with his father on the ranch came into the house one day. His father approached him, looking angry.
Dad: Son, did you push the outhouse into the river?
Son: Yes sir, I did.
The dad pulls his belt off to punish his little boy.
Son: But dad, George Washington’s father didn’t punish George Washington when he cut down the cherry tree!
Dad: Son, was George Washington’s father sitting in the cherry tree when George Washington cut it down?
June 30, 2020 at 4:19 pm #50690CrazywriterGuest
Ever heard of the book , Filled to the brim, by Max E. Mumm?
Or Yellow River, by I.P. Freely?
June 30, 2020 at 4:28 pm #50695Wingiby IggibyGuest
Ha ha! Y’all, those are great! So FUNNY!
Rusty Bed-springs by I.P. Nightly
Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts?
June 30, 2020 at 4:32 pm #50698Denali ChristiansonGuest
Oh my word *facepalm* hahahahahahahahaha I love it!!!!!!
June 30, 2020 at 5:26 pm #50720CrazywriterGuest
Wow. I thought mine were bad. XD
July 1, 2020 at 9:28 pm #50857Denali ChristiansonGuest
Oh, have you heard of this book?
“How to Stop Siblings from Kicking you in Bed,” by Knight Li Pane.
July 9, 2020 at 6:33 pm #51255JazzyfreshGuest
just letting everyone know that the forum’s are shutting down and if you want to stay in touch go to “brainstorming for ways to stay in touch” at the flabbit room.
Sorry if I interrupted. Just trying to make sure no-one get left behind.
- The forum ‘The Flabbit Room’ is closed to new topics and replies.