- This topic has 31 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 2 months ago by Isaac Loyd.
March 2, 2015 at 10:03 pm #1934
Have you ever felt that stab of homesickness for a home you’ve never known? A joy that hurts? What made you feel that way?
March 28, 2015 at 12:12 pm #2119Miss MaryGuest
Oh yes, I have felt that kind of homesickness. I can’t remember for sure what made me first feel it, but I think it was when I was a child and realized that change can’t be stopped. In my case it was that one of my favorite climbing trees from early childhood had died and was now in danger of breaking from not so little children climbing it and my Dad was determined to cut it down, as it was a safety hazard. To me, that tree was part of what made home “home” and I could not imagine it not being there, and I had so many good memories of times in it, and I was afraid that without it those sorts of times would not come again. I really thought I needed that tree. Dad won, of course, and the tree went, but at that point I first started to be homesick for a home where things would not die and be lost with only the memories remaining (though I did find other things to play with and it was not so bad really).
That was just the tiniest taste of loss then and the reality of what we are looking forward to has only grown, and the understanding that this is anything but permanent here is also growing.
Things that have sparked the feeling since (in no particular order, and not a complete list): The movie Shadowlands, some Rich Mullins songs, part of the 1st chapter of the Silmarillion (when they all fully understand the part they sing), sometimes even photographs or artwork (though it is hard to describe which ones will do it), Lots of books…more than I can think of at the moment, whenever things end truly “Right” it tends to remind me that God will make a world that is truly right here too, and us into a people who are able to live in it.
April 13, 2015 at 8:42 pm #2214Magistra VineGuest
Oh yes! Along with the things that Miss Mary mentioned, this feelings seems to be brought about by the times when I am allowed a glimpse of a window into another world, one where my soul would very much like to be at home. Many times these are visual, but they can also be the hint of a scent or a fleeting touch. I have seen the moon rise over the top of a waterfall just when the heat of day suddenly turned to the evening kiss of oxygen-infused cool forest air on my skin; I have stepped into a clearing in the Autumn woods and seen the blaze of coloured leaves that nearly burned my eyes; I have watched a bald eagle soar into a shaft of sunlight that suddenly split the clouds. These were the shortest of moments, but they are seared into my memory as some of the sweetest and most bitter of experiences- sweet because of their beauty and power, bitter because of the painfully intense longing they have left behind. I love Lewis’s term for this experience, but I will leave to German to him.
June 4, 2015 at 8:15 am #2662Arodeth BregolasielGuest
At first I thought ‘How strange, feeling homesick for somewhere you’ve never been!’
But then I realized, I live with that feeling constantly.
My heart belongs to Middle Earth and I am constantly aware that I can never go there, but I wish every second that I could be there.
Like others have said, sometimes things happen in our normal world that spark the idea that somehow our world is more. I was given the chance to go to the Grand Canyon over spring break, and the most wonderful feeling in the world is watching the sun go down and bathe the entire canyon in gold and orange light. Somehow, it made me homesick for something I couldn’t name.
June 25, 2015 at 8:37 am #2862AnnelieseGuest
I get that nostalgic kind of feeling all the time! I feel when there is something like an event that occurred annually for a while, but then ended for some reason. It makes me want to go back and do that thing again. I also get it when I haven’t read a series of books for a while. That is one reason why I really love to re-read books. I also get the feeling every time I watch or read the Lord of the Rings. I also get it when I read the Wingfeather Saga, which I have read several times. The feeling is hard to understand, but I really like the word “nostalgia” for it. It just captures the meaning so well.
June 29, 2015 at 12:16 pm #2883
I ran across a quote last night, in an essay by Jeffrey Overstreet. The quote was from Kermit the Frog.
“I’ve never been there, but I know the way. I’m going to go back there someday.”
It pierced my heart to think of going back to a place I’ve never been.
July 2, 2015 at 11:54 am #2902AnnelieseGuest
Wow, yes! That is a really interesting quote!
July 14, 2015 at 12:37 am #2985
Hi Anneliese. You said that you’ve been struggling with homesickness lately—feeling sad and wanting to go back to the past, but also longing for an eternal home. I know what you mean by that sadness and longing. I wonder if you know why this is such a strong feeling for you lately? Of course you don’t have to say why if you don’t want to.
Have you read Narnia?
July 14, 2015 at 2:28 pm #2991AnnelieseGuest
Yes, I have read Narnia! I love it! I think I started to get that feeling most when I went into highschool. I was sad that I was not going to be a little child anymore, and that I would not be able to be without a care in the world. I knew I was going to miss my friends from my homeschool co-op that I had been going to since 2nd grade. I wanted to go back to 2nd grade and start over again and enjoy those memories again and again. I was also more than a little scared for highschool! Now I’ve finished my freshman year, and I know that highschool itself isn’t so scary in and of itself. But it’s definitely a hard time! And a time of growth! But I still get that feeling. It makes me miss old friends, makes me think of memories from ages past. Good ones and bad ones. But either way, it makes me want to go back. I’m not sure why I want to go back, though. Maybe to change something. Maybe just to re-live that memory. I don’t know. And I get it mainly when I’m tired. I’m not sure why that is. But it makes me crazy sometimes, makes me want to scream or something.
July 15, 2015 at 11:38 am #2996
Dear Anneliese! What a long year this has been for you! Long and exhausting and full of transition. But do you know what? YOU MADE IT. And I would like first just to celebrate with you that you’ve survived your freshman year and all the changes that it brought. GOOD JOB! Let’s do a happy dance! 😀
What you’re describing almost sounds to me like grief. Going from a homeschool co-op where you knew everyone and had known them for years, to a high school where you would have to start over; not seeing those friends of yours as much and having to make new friends; losing your childhood and feeling like now is the time to start learning grown-up worry and stress. All these things are kinds of loss. I don’t find it surprising that you want to go back, and that you feel this way especially when you’re tired makes a lot of sense to me. When you’re tired you don’t have as much emotional energy. I think you can feel free to go ahead and cry and scream when you feel that way. And then, maybe call one of your old friends from the co-op and see how they’re doing. Maybe they’re having a hard time with that same scary transition, or maybe you can just relive old memories together. Maybe you can keep those friendships going. Remember what Janner thought about the bookbindery guild? That he wanted friends he’d still know when he was old? You and your friends will never have the same childhood relationship that you did, but you can grow together and support each other and make new memories even as you keep those old inside jokes and funny stories alive. It might be weird at first. You might feel disconnected as you and they have been doing different things and making new friends and having experiences that you don’t share. If it does feel weird, or if it even hurts some, that’s okay. That’s normal. And you can get through that as you spend time together learning how to be high school friends. They probably miss you a lot, too. 🙂 How has it been, making friends at your new school?
I just started graduate school in the fall, and although my situation is different, I can relate. New school, new people, new experiences, new self, all very scary and tiring. I’m glad you discovered that high school isn’t scary in itself. I discovered that grad school isn’t as scary as I thought. We’re both growing. 🙂 Again, we can CELEBRATE!
This is getting long… so I’ll stop for now, and save the Narnia thoughts for next time.
Love you, little sister. I’m praying for you.
July 15, 2015 at 2:08 pm #2997AnnelieseGuest
Madame Sidler, you don’t understand how grateful I am for you kind and wise words! Thank you so much! That is great advice! I will definitely do that and see what happens! I did make a couple friends at my school (Classical Conversations) that I went to for freshman year. However, I don’t think that they are lifelong friends; we didn’t become that close. I am transitioning again this year, hopefully for the last time. CC did not work out for me and my family, and though this sounds a little harsh, I am was glad to be done with it. It is a great program; it just didn’t provide my needs, nor my family’s. I am thankful that I went, because I learned a lot, though. Anyway, I am looking forward to next year! I am excited about the school I am going to, and the people that are going to be there! I have even heard that some of my friends from my old co-op are going to be there! And even a girl from CC! I hope to do whatever I can to make this year full of happiness, growth, and hopefully that feeling will leave me.
Once again I want to thank you, for you know not what it means to me to have someone to talk to about this! Thanks for being here! And may the Maker bless you! I will pray for you also; that your classes could go along smoothly, and that if they don’t, that you will trust the Maker in whatever circumstances!
July 18, 2015 at 4:26 pm #3011
Oh, I did not mean to leave you hanging for so long! I’m very sorry about that.
You are very welcome, Anneliese. I’m glad we were able to connect. Transitions can be so hard! I’m hoping and praying along with you that this next school will stick and that you can make lasting friends there. And how exciting to anticipate going to school with some of your old co-op friends again, as well as the girl from CC!
You sweetheart—thank you for praying for me. Those are good prayers. The Maker has taught me a LOT about Himself, and about myself, when my classes have not gone smoothly. Trust is a very big deal. That’s a good thing to pray for both of us. 🙂
Be blessed, little sister. Whenever you want to talk, I’ll be around.
July 15, 2015 at 5:26 pm #2998Miss MaryGuest
There is a lot of wisdom from both of you there, in dealing with transitions. I feel a little old at this point (I am 36, and have gotten through both high school and grad school), but transitions don’t stop no matter how old you get, and they can be very unexpected sometimes. Grief for what we have to leave behind, or sometimes for expectations not met are part of it, but so are celebrations of what is accomplished and the joy seeing real growth in ourselves and in others around us. It is through this process that we come to know ourselves, and even more importantly come to know the Maker, who is also our Sustainer, Protector, Guide, Provider and about a million other things.
I think you put it very well, Anneleise, to pray for the Maker to bless us, and that things could go smoothly, but if they don’t, trust the Maker in that circumstance too! It is hard to do in practice, but there is a LOT of wisdom in that.
I do wish you both the best in the next school year, and that it will be a time of blessing and growth for each of you!
July 16, 2015 at 2:11 pm #3000AnnelieseGuest
All I can do is thank you both, and the Maker for you! Thank you so much, Miss Mary and Madame Sidler! It really does mean a lot to me! I love what you said Miss Mary, how grief, as well as joy, comes with change. That is a really great statement!
July 18, 2015 at 4:46 pm #3012
About homesickness and Narnia:
In The Last Battle, Lord Digory said that “All of the old Narnia that mattered, all the dear creatures, have been drawn into the real Narnia through the door.” There is a real Earth and a real Aerwiar, also. And then Jewel said, “The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this.”
I was thinking of what you (Anneliese) said in the other thread, that this world will never satisfy you, that Heaven is the only place you can be home and not be missing anything. And it’s true that in the New Heavens and New Earth (and New Aerwiar and New Narnia), everything will be made perfect. But it’s here in the shadowlands that we learn to love our real home. All of our hopes and creative work and laughter and loving of each other—none of that is wasted. We’ll love the New Aerwiar—sorry; the New Earth—better when we get there the more we lean into this one. As Rich Mullins said, “Nobody tells you when you get born here how much you’ll come to love it and how you’ll never belong here.” I love that both things are true: That this world is meaningful and we can love it, and that someday we will have a better world that is just like this one was meant to be.
July 18, 2015 at 9:40 pm #3021Miss MaryGuest
I have loved “The Last Battle” best of all the Narnia books since I was a kid. Of course it wouldn’t mean as much if I hadn’t read the others first so I “knew” everyone by the time I got there.
July 20, 2015 at 3:35 pm #3032AnnelieseGuest
That is a great point! I do love the Narnia books! The more we put into this life, the more we will be excited for Heaven. As Christians, we should enjoy the good things in this world. However, we shouldn’t enjoy them so much that we get too attached and aren’t yearning for Heaven.
July 20, 2015 at 10:45 pm #3033Miss LindaGuest
I suspect that “further up and further in” is something we can at least partly live in now, as well as something that will happen when we experience the Kingdom in its fullness. There is a homesickness that we aren’t there yet, especially when we are reminded how broken this world really is and how broken we are in it. But I think that even if it hurts, leaning in to the homesickness and engaging as fully as we can with the life we have now is what is best for us, and best prepares us for what is coming, which is whatever God has planned that is too big for us to imagine now.
July 22, 2015 at 10:20 am #3041AnnelieseGuest
Oh wow! That is something I never thought about! But of course! That makes sense! Just like an event you anticipate, like summer camp or just summer itself, the more you anticipate it, the more excited you will be once it finally gets there! Hopefully anticipating Heaven isn’t like anticipating school or something!
September 8, 2015 at 11:08 pm #3516Miss LindaGuest
Anneliese, I’m not sure if you are still lurking around here or not, but if you are, how you are doing now? Is the transition to this new school going alright? Have you been able to connect with some new friends there yet? And has any of this helped, or changed, the feeling of homesickness for you?
Too many questions?
Ok, I’ll stop now.
September 11, 2015 at 9:45 am #3543AnnelieseGuest
Oh, hi, Miss Linda! Yes, I haven’t been on here as often since school started, but here I am, checking to see if there’s anything new!
I LOVE my new school!! It is working out just great for me!! It is a lot busier, but I don’t mind that! I love all of the classes I’m taking (except World History…but even that’s ok)! I think it is just right for me! Thanks so much for asking! And I have already made a few friends and reconnected with old friends! The people at my school are so nice!
And I haven’t been feeling that homesickness feeling at all, that I can think of! In fact, I’ve been looking back at those memories with happiness! And I got together with an old friend of mine earlier this week, and it was great! I am really happy right now!!
Thank you so much for asking these questions!! How are you doing??
September 23, 2015 at 12:54 pm #3661
Anneliese, what a happy post! I’m so glad for you. 🙂
September 11, 2015 at 8:09 pm #3546Miss LindaGuest
Wonderful! I’m glad things are going so well. It helps a lot that you have been able to connect with friends, new and old, so probably the sense of loss is less. And it sounds like you have gained a lot, with classes you love and people you enjoy! I’m glad the memories are less painful now.
February 6, 2018 at 8:30 am #21919EferhildGuest
I’ve definitely got that homesick for a place you’ve never been feeling before! And I kind of always have it hanging around in my heart. Sometimes it just overtakes, often when I’m tired or lonely, like Anneliese said back in 2015.
Some of the most unforgettable times are when our annual homeschool drama seminar is ending. Those kids are like blood family and other than that one week, I don’t see most of them very often. And there’s always the graduates who will be leaving and it’s indescribably painful. But at the same time you’re overflowing with joy and gratefulness that the LORD has brought you together AT ALL and for the ways you know He’ll use them as they go! The mixture of these feelings reminds me of Tolkien’s quote, “…until their hearts….overflowed, and their joy was like swords, and they passed in thought out to regions where pain and delight flow together and tears are the very wine of blessedness.” We always sob for hours but at the same we’re SO thankful. Once, I literally almost fell to my knees in the middle of our prayer circle because the emotions overflowing in my heart were completely overpowering.
I definitely get this feeling when reading Narnia, Lord of the Rings, and the Wingfeather Saga (how in the world can my heart be in all these different worlds at once?).
I also get this majorly when listening to Andrew Peterson’s songs and so many other countless times.
February 8, 2018 at 5:02 pm #22068
Eferhild, thank you for sharing all that. What a great group you must have. And that is a great Tolkien quote! I know what you mean about living in so many worlds at once.
February 12, 2018 at 3:12 pm #22300Claire OlivarezGuest
I randomly feel homesick sometimes even at home!
February 12, 2018 at 6:54 pm #22312I.LGuest
I think I know what you are talking about… I have had that for a while without knowing what it was. Whenever I told people about it, they just looked at me like “whaaaa???” For a while I thought that it was a personal mental ailment(XD). Like Madame Sidler was saying. I now think that it is an instinctual longing for a home that we know that we will never have in this life. (Nostalgic is an interesting word for it.)
February 12, 2018 at 8:23 pm #22323Claire OlivarezGuest
That is an interesting word!
February 21, 2018 at 12:14 am #22785CelidahGuest
I, too, have felt the pang of homesickness, most often when I’m in a breathtaking gorgeous place such as mountains or vast forests, or when I listen to certain artists’ music–our esteemed author’s work comes to mind! But I feel it most keenly when viewing a beautiful sunset. It’s kinda cliched, but nonetheless true. I live in an area with vast horizons, so all the breathtaking sunsets spill over the entire sky, and remind me of a home where I’ve never been.
February 21, 2018 at 6:18 pm #22830Isaac LoydGuest
I honestly don’t think that it is cliched, maybe, that depends on who you ask. Where I live, the trees block all sight of sunset and sunrise. But yes, the sun seems to be a big part of instinctual-homesickness/nostalgicness. (I have no idea why, is it convenient, or is it a natural picture?)
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